Dear Black Man

Dear Black Man: 

We love you. We hear you. The message is clear even if the delivery is improper. We have not been educated in the ways of the world, misguided and left to fend for ourselves. As a result we have made some poor choices. While our poor choices impact us for the rest of our lives, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be respected, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be valued and it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be protected. It means we made a poor choice and in life, poor choices are to be made. Some lessons are best learned thru experience. Some are not. Some poor choices are repeated, some are not. Ironically, when you make poor choices, we are expected to forgive and love regardless but when we do it, we are condemned and seen as invaluable. Becoming a single mother did not happen solely by my choice; why did you leave? You participated in the creation and then u condemn me for accepting responsibility/consequences of our choice. You blame me for actions, that we participated in together….. You expect me to kill the life we created during an exchange of energy that fulfilled the love that we lacked n looked for so long. The love we expected from you. Temporary gratification. Creating the very thing you so adamantly hate. A household lead by us, a woman that was good enough to share your body with but not enough to love and build with. But black man, I don’t hate you, because I need you. While we have been misguided, you are lost too. You were taught that your value is found in the penis you possess. You are worth more than that. They fear you because you are powerful beyond measure, your intelligence intimidates them, your strong stature and ability to overcome is remarkable. But they engrained something different in you. You are worth more than the physical. Once you learn that, you will become invincible. Once you realize the unconditional love you seek, is the love only I, the black woman can provide. You have to be open to receiving it. Despite the poor choices, despite the mistakes, we are still deserving….of you… your love... your loyalty and commitment. We are deserving and I will never believe I’m not.

Black man, did u know that in today’s world we are the only community that exile each other, attack one another and belittle each other? Why do you think that is?  Do you know, turning us against each other is the only way they can destroy us? Together, we embody the power of God, as we were created in the image. 

We marry outside of our race, because we are safe there, we are accepted there, protected there and loved without conditions but why can’t we have that with you? Black man, y can’t you see we wanted you, we looked for you and yearned for you. Your leadership, intelligence and protection, but u took advantage of the kind heart, & fucked us…. over. Abandoned and then judged us for the child that I carried that shares ur blood. Black man, we lost value from ur perspective but we risked our lives to birth ur legacy. We were willing die so ur name lives, does that not mean anything to you?  You left me to continue to partake in the same behaviors you condemn me for. Black man, I need you to guide me, to educate me, as I’ve been lead astray. My misguidance and lack of knowledge does not make u better than me, nor me better than u, just a human, navigating this journey of life, alone. Learning and living. Just as you do. Why am I criticized for making mistakes? Why not uplift me? Don’t look down on me; we came from you. Your rib. The part of the body designed to protect your heart. Why not allow us to do what I’m designed for? You push us away with hatred in your eyes. You push us away to a world that hates us as much as you do. You attack us for acts you encouraged us to participate in. You tell me we not worth your love, your protection, your leadership. Why? We were designed for you, you were designed for me. Accept, educate love & lead me so we can conquer this journey of life together….. Or we will die alone taking ur legacy with us. 

With love, light & peace, 

The Black Woman 

**With patience and understanding, I hope this message isn’t received as an attack but more of an act of accountability coming from a place of love and support. Within our community, so many times when held accountable (by both women and men) it’s met with a response of aggression and perceived as a personal attack. It’s not. A person who holds you accountable recognizes what your worth, and is saying to you,  ur actions are not aligning with your value. Being held accountable could be utilized as a moment of self reflection instead of a moment to be defensive (as long as it’s coming from the right person; everyone isn’t here to push u to become ur best self. Discernment is important) 

- Big B